Challenges and Problems Should Make You Better, Not Bitter

"Challenges and Problems Should Make You Better, Not Bitter"

Life is full of challenges and hurdles that are inevitable, and everyone, at some point, must face them. However, how we choose to respond to these challenges can define the direction of our lives. We can either let them make us bitter, or we can let them mold us into better, more resilient individuals. It all comes down to perspective and mindset.

I recently encountered a student, let’s call her Priya, who beautifully exemplified this dilemma. Priya came to me with an open mind and a strong will to succeed. She was eager to learn, to grow, and to overcome any challenges that came her way.

She was the type of student who would absorb everything I taught her—be it lessons on handling failure, bouncing back after setbacks, or approaching life with a positive mindset. She was thriving and seemed to have the tools to navigate the ups and downs that life had to offer.

However, as the weeks passed, Priya began facing rejections, some personal setbacks, and career-related challenges. Each rejection, each hurdle, seemed to sting a little harder than the last.

At first, she bounced back with optimism, but eventually, something shifted.

Priya stopped using these obstacles as stepping stones for growth. Instead of learning from them, she began letting them define her. She became bitter.

The person who once saw every challenge as an opportunity for improvement started blaming the world, her circumstances, and the people around her for her failures.

The shift was palpable. She stopped applying the lessons we had discussed in our sessions, stopped looking for the silver lining, and, most importantly, stopped seeing herself as capable of overcoming challenges. Her energy became negative, and her belief in her potential faded.

Every rejection now felt like a confirmation of her inadequacy, instead of an opportunity to improve.

As a coach, it was disheartening to see. Priya had the skills and the mindset to be better, but she allowed her bitterness to overshadow everything she had learned. It was like watching someone with all the tools to succeed but refusing to use them because they were so caught up in the pain of the moment.

The truth is, challenges are a part of life. No one is exempt from experiencing setbacks, disappointments, or rejections. But it’s how we respond to them that determines our growth. Challenges should make us stronger, more resilient, and more determined to move forward—not cause us to build walls around our hearts and minds.

I often remind my students, and myself, that life will throw curveballs. But when we choose to learn from the hardships we face, they make us better. They help us develop patience, perseverance, and wisdom.

Priya’s journey is a poignant reminder that bitterness only locks us into a cycle of defeat. It clouds our vision, making it hard to see the opportunities for growth that lie within our struggles.

I reached out to Priya, hoping to reconnect with her, and gently reminded her of the lessons we had explored together. I encouraged her to see her challenges as temporary hurdles—pit stops on the path to success—and not as permanent obstacles. I reminded her of the strength she had within herself and how much she had grown even before the challenges arose.

We all face setbacks. But we must remember that when we allow our circumstances to make us bitter, we give away our power. Bitterness robs us of our ability to learn, to grow, and to move forward.

The only way to rise above adversity is by choosing to let our challenges make us better—not bitter.

Priya’s story serves as a reminder that we are not defined by our failures, but by how we choose to rise after them.

She has the power to reclaim her strength and continue her journey toward becoming a better version of herself. All it takes is a shift in perspective and a commitment to turning each setback into a lesson for growth.

Remember, it’s not the challenges that define us—it’s how we choose to face them.